"You're crazy" = You're on the right track
Dear son, Do the things no one else is doing. Here's why.
We moved recently. It wasn’t just any move. It was one that has been in the works for over a decade. It’s our “forever home.”
We live in a Master Planned Community. For some, it’s over-regulated “Stepford Wives” and they would never, ever consider living here.
For others, like us, it’s been a place we’ve owned three homes in and raised our boys. My husband built his small business from within this community. We’ve made lifelong friends here. We love it. I still drive home from work and think, “This is the most idyllic place to be in Utah.”
Many years ago, I took a long walk from the house we lived in over one part of the lake, past the construction zone that felt like it had been there for years with no progress.
What I saw was a beautiful vista, with sun-kissed rolling hills and a shiny lake, untouched by anything. No bridges, no sidewalks, no streets, no For Sale signs on the multi-million dollar lots. (I’ve only had one other experience in my life that felt like there was a soundtrack playing from the heavens: the first time my to-be-husband kissed me. Talk about a cinematic moment.)
At the time of my long walk, we had just gone through a major health and financial scare. We were at one of our lowest points. But I looked across the lake at a specific section and thought, “That’s it. That’s where we’ll live someday.”
To say, “And now we do” would be the most outrageous form of understatement in the history of ever. I won’t go into the details but I will say this:
We signed the contract in 2020, while I was unemployed, during a global pandemic most generations alive today will (hopefully) never experience again. The level of financial uncertainty at a macro- and micro-level was immeasurable. Crazy.
We never expected the build to take over three years. We were originally told 8 months, max. The exact words in our first-ever meeting with the builder were, “Don’t worry. We’ll be waiting on you, you won’t be waiting on us.” I knew at that moment this was going to be a nightmare. And crazy-making.
It was in the middle of building the house that I remembered my illuminating walk from more than seven years before. I never tied the two moments together, ever, before then. Crazy.
Being labeled “Crazy” is a gift of confirmation
I recently interviewed someone for an internship. He shared his experience starting his own businesses at a very young age. “People usually tell me I’m crazy,” he said, smiling.
“When people tell you you’re crazy, it usually means you’re on the right track.” I said.
And I really believe that — especially in our careers.
Today is my oldest son’s birthday. He’s 22 … and he better be ready for a day of Tay-Tay. (“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22 …”)
People thought I was crazy for getting married so young. Heck, I judged other people for getting married after one year of college. Now, with my younger son turning 17 in a few months, I’m looking at empty nester before age 45. Who’s crazy now?
I think people tell other people they are “Crazy” for a few different reasons:
Lack of vision. They are incapable of imagining doing it themselves. They feel comfortable being stuck where they are and don’t regularly dream larger things for their lives. (Subtext of this is, “They are being self-centered.”)
Jealousy. They wish they were brave enough to do the crazy things that are high risk, high reward. They aren’t, so they poke at you.
Curiosity. I think some people are genuinely fascinated by people who take big leaps in their life. They may even want to know, “How did you do it?!” Tell them. Tell them everything. For free. Most won’t attempt anything close to it.
Risk-aversion. Others are thinking through all the risks with what you are in the middle of doing or have already accomplished. They are calculating in their heads all the reasons things could go horribly wrong. And then some are also silently feeling that …
Superiority. They feel better about their choices because they hear any negative consequences or the pain you had to go through and think, “Glad that wasn’t me! I would never make such poor choices. I just avoided all of that.”
Whatever the reason, doing crazy stuff makes many people uncomfortable. It means you’re unpredictable and unconventional and you may fail.
And you will. Only, it’s not failure. You either succeed or you learn. So either way, you win in life.
Do the “You’re crazy” things in life
This post is for my 22-year-old son. Because I want him to take risks and try new things.
This morning I got to sit on my deck listening to the geese on the lake, watch the water move in its glorious pattern under the moonlight, and count the “You’re crazy” 5 am joggers. (And that would be the #2 reason from above — jealousy — with a touch of #1 — lack of vision!)
I like doing the crazy things because on the whole, my life has worked out. Things always work themselves out. There’s been lots of low lows but the high highs 20 years into my career just keep coming.
So …
Do the thing that scares you.
Do the thing that doesn’t make sense.
Do the thing that may not work out well.
Do the things that others aren’t doing.
Do the “You’re crazy” thing.
“You’re crazy” usually means you’re on the right track.
Happy birthday, buddy.
