Part Two: To advance your career, unlearn this advice
Forget "Do I need a mentor or a sponsor or a coach?" Go for guides.
This is a three-part series on career advice to unlearn. Read the other two parts here:
» Part One: Forget “Never burn bridges.” Go for (some) ashes.
» Part Three: Forget “executive presence.” Go for equanimity.
The value of _____: The story of _____
If you’re an 80s baby like me, you may remember the ValueTale books written by Dr. Spencer Johnson and Ann Donegan Johnson. There are over forty of these classic biographical children’s books.
“Each book gives a simplified and semi-fictionalized biography of a historical figure as an allegory, illustrating the value of a characteristic. Each volume is a white pictorial glossy hardback book around 60 pages long with a brightly colored cartoon of the figure.” wikipedia.com
Yes, some are problematic. Like Christopher Columbus being lauded for the virtue of “Curiosity.” But a third are about famous historical women, which, for a series published mostly in the 70s and 80s, is impressive.
I don’t remember how many we owned growing up, but the one I read on repeat was Louis Pasteur: The Value of Believing in Yourself. The foaming-mouthed, yellow-eyed dog is a defining remnant of my childhood.
Why are we talking about rabid dogs? Because along with indelible, nightmare-inducing illustrations like these, in the books each main character was accompanied by a guide. Thomas Jefferson had a pocket watch called Chimes. Jackie Robinson had Rags, an old baseball. Marie Curie was followed around the lab by a cheery test tube, Fizz. The purpose of this anthropomorphic item or animal was to serve as a relatable character, a narrator, and the subject’s conscience.
Now let’s apply the ValueTale formula to our careers. We learn a new, or a set of new, “The value of _____” in every chapter of our own adventures. It’s the stuff your interview STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) stories are crafted from. And we all have people helping us along the way.
Traditional career guidance
The most widely-understood career guidance comes in the form of mentors, sponsors and coaches. Below is a general breakdown describing these three options. What have you found to be true in your own career?
I strongly support having mentors, sponsors and coaches. I’ve benefitted from all three at various points in my career.
What I think we need to unlearn, though, is the rigidity in this traditional structure that I often hear expressed as anxiety.
“How do I find a mentor? How do I know if they will be a good fit? What if they say ‘No’? What if I don’t get assigned the mentor I wanted in the Mentor Program at work?”
“How do I get someone to sponsor me? Especially if I’m a woman [or other underrepresented group]? How many sponsors do I need? What if no one will sponsor me? Will I ever get promoted?”
“When do I need to hire a coach? What if I need one but can’t afford one? How do I know if the coach I hire is worth the investment? Do I have to be an executive to have a coach?”
If thinking in terms of mentors v. sponsors v. coaches is helpful to you, great! If it feels confusing or outmoded, you’re not alone. There is a shift happening. Come with me if you’re curious. . . .
Go for guides
Here’s what I say: Focus on finding your next guide. A guide is simply someone who has been where you want to go and done what you want to do. Just like in the ValueTale stories, a guide knows and can narrate parts of the plot better than the main character.
When we focus on guides instead of specific labels like “mentor” or “sponsor,” I believe it opens us up to more possibilities and lessens career anxiety. We begin to create a more organic network of helpers we can continually seek guidance and support from. A guide can be paid or unpaid, a formal or informal connection, work-focused or life-focused, short-term or long-term (e.g., a 30-minute meeting over coffee or a lifelong friendship).
What does this shift look like? I’ve used the formula below for most of my career and the results have ranged from good to almost miraculous. Here’s how to find your next guide.
Take inventory of where you are today. What’s working, what’s not working? One way to do this is to really tune in to your inner talk track and how you feel as you move about your day for 1-2 weeks. When you wake up, when you start working, when you’re sitting in that mid-morning meeting, when you get an invite to a discussion about a new problem to solve, when you meet 1:1 with your boss, when you stop working for the day, when you plan your weekend.
Define what you want next.* Based on your inventory, what do you want for your future? I’m not talking about “What’s your five-year plan?” here. What do you want to create, ideally within the next year? How will you double-down on what’s working and improve what’s not working? Write it down in as much detail as possible. It may include things like new skills gained on your way to your next promotion, or it may be about quality of life like, “Do my day full of energy and positivity” or “Spend more time with my family and friends.”
One way to think of this is, What would the title of my next ValueTale be? My current one is The value of financial freedom: The story of JM [a tax-savvy tech exec with multiple income streams].
Set your intention. This step is important—don’t skip it. Put it out there in the Universe that you need a guide for your next step. It may look like praying. It may look like meditating or journaling. It may look like a Celtic shaman session. Set your intention and then pay attention.
Stay open to possibilities. A guide may not come in the stereotypical form of a more experienced career professional. To make your next move successfully, you may need a therapist, an energy worker, a teacher, a confidant, a best friend at work, an executive who takes an interest in you, an entrepreneurial acquaintance, a co-worker willing to give you direct feedback, a neighbor, a meditation expert, a nutritionist, a holistic health practitioner, a yogi, a personal trainer. (I’ve worked with all of these types of guides and more.)
Be grateful. Once you’ve found your next guide, take full advantage of the time you have with them. Learn as much as you can, take them up on their offers to help, ask them who else you should be working with. And express gratitude often.
* Defining what you want next is best done with a North Star defined first. What’s your career dream or vision? What’s the long-term outcome you see for your career (now we’re talkin’ 10, 20, 30 years in the future)? What are you consistently orienting towards?
When I stopped fretting over whether I should have a mentor or a sponsor or a coach, I started to see how many people were interested in my success. I started thinking more in terms of abundance as opposed to “I have to secure a mentor or sponsor at this company asap if I’m going to be successful here.” And I was able to round out more of the “life” part of the work-life rhythm that makes up a fulfilling week. At any given time, I am actively working with 5+ guides and always setting new intentions for my next guide.
To recap, if thinking in terms of mentor v. sponsor v. coach is helpful for you, definitely reference the chart above. If you want to try finding your next guide, the steps are . . .
Take inventory of where you are today.
Define what you want next.
Set your intention.
Stay open to possibilities.
Be grateful.
Be a guide
The final step is to become a guide yourself. Show interest in and help others without expecting anything in return. The full circle feels so good.
This is a three-part series on career advice to unlearn. Read the other two parts here:
» Part One: Forget “Never burn bridges.” Go for (some) ashes.
» Part Three: Forget “executive presence.” Go for equanimity.